Home A Loam Two: Loam In New York

Week 3! Of what? Read Week One, then Week Two and you’ll know

It was all going well at the start of the week. For a laugh we pulled a fast day on a Monday, and managed to completely avoid punching anyone in the face.

But, disaster struck El Food One on Wednesday, as he came down with a nasty case of EFF (El Food Flu). A lesser man may have not made it through these dark days, but we are happy to report that he is still with us.

It did mean though, that Thursday, Friday, El Food Two was on his own, having to make it through a fast day with only text support from El Food One. Who had by this point decided the Five Two can fuck right off whilst this flu is having its way with him.

But before the dark times, there was some light this week in Manchester, as we managed a perfect lunch time at Slice, basking in the sun, supping on our waters, as others supped a pint.

Shitting Stats and Sweating Facts

7lb’s lost – making a total of 1 st, 11.5lb

Or to put it another way, we’ve lost 3410 tea bags (Side note, if it was you who nicked them, give em back)

17 Lemsips

12 Paracetemol

24 Nurofen ‘Flu and Cold’ (Which are complete bullshit, but don’t knock the Placebo effect)

20 ml of Night Nurse

2 ‘loam-alone’ days

1 pizza sharing board

Behind the scenes

Take a deeper look into the El Food Brothers weeks from their point of view:

El Food One

A fucking grim few days really. I’d forgotten all about the glory days of Slice and actual real life sun in Manchester by the time I entered my loam period. A McDonalds may have been consumed, I may have fried up loads of bacon, and I may have even gone back to smothering everything in Ketchup. Still lost 4 lb though, so fuck you flu.

El Food Two

I’m going to fill in for El Food Two as well this week. Keeping me in high spirits throughout my loam days, and egging on my McDonalds binge, El Food Two also continued to be my muse by texting me ‘Are you still the Loam Ranger’, and so I bring you ‘Loam Who’s Talking Too’

  1. Lyndsey Loamhan
  2. Home A Loam
  3. The Loam Ranger
  4. Living the Vida Loamer
  5. Loam of the Rings
  6. Raiders of The Loam Ark
  7. Star Wars: The Loam Awakens
  8. Loam With The Wind
  9. Loam Of Brian
  10. Loam Of Arabia


Ugh, I feel like loam. A piece of loam

Jeremy Usbourne 

The Final Countdown

Week Four is already full steam a head, we promise 50% less loam. Friday will be the final weigh-in, and we are planning a big blow out lunch. Which NQ establishment will be lucky to have us? Keep watching the socials!

and keep yourself busy with the podcast