Hello? Pizza Express? Great I’ll Tell Them

Following the success of week one, you did read all about that right? If not, read all about week one here.

Up to date with week one? Then lets continue. There will be a test at the end, so don’t just pretend you read week one.

Week Two, The El Food Brothers know the score by now, we know most of the week will be spent in Ziferblat, and some of those days we will have to avoid stuffing all the cakes in our mouth.

The diet is certaintly changing us both, and El Food Two even suggests we try Sushi. I’m not really sure where that came from, he still can’t tell me why he suggested it. The only fish I’ve ever heard him talk about is the type that comes in a cardboard box and has a picture of a fictional sailor on it. It takes us until Friday to actually get round to the Sushi, the details of which will be in an El Food One review soon.

But we didn’t just have one good idea this week, we managed two whole ideas. The big news is that we managed to come up with an idea, and follow through on it until completion. The El Food Brothers have gone cross media, and you can now get your fill of the brothers via the aural delights of our new podcast. You can listen to the first episode, ‘Spare A Thought For Uncle Ben‘ right now, or save that delight for later, its likely to be a monthly thing for the time being.

The Dining Room at Ziferblat - aka The El Food Brothers Abbey Road
The Dining Room at Ziferblat – aka The El Food Brothers Abbey Road

Back to the diet. Lets get down to what you want to know, how much have we lost? Or have we fucked up and actually eaten too many delicious scones at Ziferblat?

Shitting Stats and Sweating Facts

6.5 lbs Lost – Making a total of 1 stone 4.5lb lost in just two weeks! To help you visualise it, thats 56 Guadeloupean Bananas.

Less Eggs than last week!

Less Coffee than last week!

More pizzas than last week (At least 4)

1 Podcast

Behind the scenes

Take a deeper look into the El Food Brothers weeks from their point of view:

El Food One

I started this week with one firm plan in my mind. Eat as many pizzas as possible, whilst still keeping within my allotted calories. My weekly shop now consists of 6 Pizza Express pizzas, 2 bottles of Franks hot sauce and a couple of bags of tortilla chips and a pack of cheese slices. Feeling slightly guilty, I also grab some spring onions and a fresh jar of Jalepenos, they do count as a veg and I’ll not hear a bad word said about them.

My plan was two fold, I know exactly how many calories in a pre made pizza, and I know I can make a decent nachos and still be well within the calories of a ‘normal’ day. The second part of the plan is to piss people off who tell me I can’t just eat pizza all the time and still lose weight. The results speak for themselves.

Keeping on the, ‘enjoy-the-diet-by-pissing-other-people-off’ plan, I’ve decided to cut out any caffeine from my diet. After the first fast day, where I consumed several teas and coffees (black of course, I’ve already fucked milk right off) I felt like shit, and wasn’t sure it had anything to do with not eating very much. So with alcohol a now distant memory (I’d have my 2 week chip if AA meetings were not just a thing I see in US TV shows) and now caffeine given its marching orders, I exist on mostly water and a smug sense of being better than those still living in the caffeine age.

Fast day two is purely water and a small soup (at Ziferblat of course) until the evening. Where I do something I have never done in my life, I shared a pizza, allowing me to pair an egg plus a jumbo hotdog with it, just to make up the calories! This diet is amazing. (In the interests of journalistic integrity, it was actually half a jumbo hotdog)

The El Food Brothers end the week on a high, purely of our own making, by an after-work visit to Ziferblat where I spend an evening drinking two types of water (cucumber, and I think grapefruit, some sort of round thing anyway) a little bit of cake and making one amazing podcast. I even managed to share a pizza for a second time following our seminal recording, although I think I did eat a few more slices than El Food Two.

My takeaway from week two is, never let anyone say say you can’t follow your dreams. You can eat pizza everyday and still lose weight, and you can record a podcast, you just need to believe in yourself. Keep at it long enough, and people might just stop thinking you’re a pair of shit-houses.

Although now I’ve used the word takeaway, I do fancy a Chinese … I’ll just down a pint of water, it’ll be all fine.

El Food Two

The diet has absolutely gotten to El Food Two this week, first Sushi, and now a piece which can only be described as ‘two things at once’ Its a shocking tale of the descent into madness, titled ‘Fuck You Five Two‘

Keep Watching the Socials for Week Three

and keep yourself busy with the podcast